Ordering Auto Parts 101

Lesson One

There always seems to be a lot of confusion when it comes to ordering auto parts either on-line (What, I can order parts on-line?) or visiting your neighborhood auto parts store. The main source of confusion stems from the fact that one must, as the Boy Scouts of America say : "Be Prepared". Prepared for what...you may ask? One word. INFORMATION.

A significant amount of counter-people have just graduated from high school after 15 years and their last job was flippin' burgers at the local burger joint.

In this session, we will cover the parts store scenario:

It's late Saturday afternoon. You've just driven 10 - 15 miles (@ $4.00 plus per gallon), piled up a pound of bugs on the windshield, fussed at someone sitting at a green light, talking on the cell-phone, and got cut off in traffic twice. You are really geared up now to answer a birage of questions by the burger flipper.

"I need a starter for my car" you grouse, as you stroll in (empty handed). Somehow, that just doesn't quite cut it, but that's your opening remark. I have yet to see a counter-person break out the crystal ball and come up with the starter for that car (whatever it may be).

You stand there waiting for Ace to go back to the shelf and grab a starter.

He stands there giving you that "deer in the headlight look" and you sense your blood pressure rising.

"A starter...you know for my car...sometime today would be nice", you mutter.
He wipes his nose and asks in that whiney high-pitched voice: "What kind of car, Dude?"

"Ford" you grumble.

"Oh, a Fix Or Repair Daily", is the reply.

So many good comedians out of business and I have to listen to this, is basically written across your forehead.

(Author's note:) By the way, have I mentioned you are standing there, grease dripping from both hands, knuckles bleeding, shirt drenched in a combination of sweat, oil, beer and bug spray? Not to mention the boot-prints of grease and oil you just left on the floor marching up to the counter.

"Uh...what kind of Ford?"

"A Mustang! Now, will you get the starter, Ace?"

"Uh...what year Mustang?"

"I dunno, it's my sister's car...74, 76 or 78...they're all the same!"

(This "all the same" information has come from your construction buddy Steve, sitting out in the truck, who at this very moment is draining the last of the six-pack, purchased on the way to the parts store. His vast knowledge of auto repair encompasses replacing the fan belt on the construction site concrete mixer).

"Uh...does it have an engine?"

"Well, duh! Why else would I be here tryin' to get a starter?"

"Uh...what size engine?"

"I dunno, 4 cylinder, 6 cylinder...they're all the same!"

"Uh...I need to know which one and what type of transmission does it have?"

(Author's Note: Are you starting to get the picture here?) After finally supplying the necessary information (like pulling hen's teeth) you have just discovered several things. You weren't truly prepared. Your wallet is laying on the counter where you purchased the six-pack, you didn't bring the old starter which now amounts to more money, this could have been handled with a phone call and best of all, Ace says the starter is on back-order and won't have it in the store until Monday afternoon.